Top Ten Reasons Juggling Is Better Than Sex
10. You don't need a partner to juggle
9. Having blue balls isn't a bad thing
8. Jugglers aren't judged by the size of their balls
7. Don't have to wear protection
6. Don't have to worry about how many other people your
partner has juggled with
5. Don't have to worry if your juggling partner is a minor
4. After juggling, you can do it again right away
3. Easier to keep balls in the air for long periods of time
2. Don't need nine months to recover from a mistake
1. When you finish, your balls are just as hard as when you
started
(http://www.pitt.edu/~cfools/jokes.html)
You can juggle to...
Impress (if you are desperate)
Relax (if you are tense)
Make money (if you are poor)
Entertain (if you are good)
Make enemies (if you are bad)
The best way to get rid of a juggling friend for a long
time:
"I bet you'll never learn to do that trick!"
The best way to get hurt by a juggler:
"Well, that sure was a pretty good routine, but I once
saw
a guy juggle three balls of DIFFERENT COLOURS!!!"
The best way to get killed by a club-passing friend:
"Oops! I thought you were paying attention!"
The best way to break something:
"I bet you can't juggle THIS!"
(http://www-und.ida.liu.se/~janca116/Juggling.html)
"It's simpler to think of an 0-throw as
one where there is actually a ball borrowed from the Astral
Plane only long enough to throw and catch at the exact same
time - then at each time, we're always throwing, and
catching, exactly one ball. This is the main reason why it is
mathematically nice to call these throws 0s."
"...You can only do this if the first
ball lands after the second one is thrown, or else you'd have
to throw backwards in time."
(http://www.juggling.org/help/siteswap/faq.html)
"The Five Clubs Cascade has chosen you as one of it's
jugglers and it will survive whether you master it or not. It
is, like you, just a part of the Universe and when you drop
it, it is not destroyed but continues for as long as it suits
the Universe to contain it."
(Compendium of Club
Juggling by Charlie Dancey)
Like worlds in an orbital system
As you cross 'em and weave 'em
and twist 'em
Juggling balls whirl in time
To a rythm sublime
Then it all turns to mud 'cuz you missed 'em
Ball A looks like B
And Ball B looks like C
And Ball C looks a lot like their brothers;
So how d'ya unravel
The paths that they travel
When you can't tell the one from the other?
The mind is amazing. It starts to work the minute you're
born and never stops until you try to juggle.
Juggler: My next trick is so unbelievably difficult, I'm
not even gonna try it!
The secret method of the great Chinese jugglers? T'ai
Ming.
How did you learn to juggle? ...Drop by drop!
Motel for jugglers: The Don't Drop Inn
(Beyond the Cascade by
George Gillson)
